...rather the most annoying thing...
As a step-parent you learn to accept and love the step-children, but then there's their mother. She generally stays out of our life, until she wants her money. He gives her this money, said child support. But the woman is a basketcase. She is the greediest and neediest person in the world, with the crappiest choices in men, as well and the dumbest choices in her life so she is miserable. Of all the women in my dh's life, I am probably the only one that he's been with as long (including her, but I'll get to that) where he hasn't cheated, there have been no points in his life where there hasnt been drama of any kind. He has been nothing but true and faithful to our relationship. And yet most days I think she's tremendously jealous.
Jealous? Of what we have, his ability to not cheat, him never thinking about cheating or leaving, and no other issues that have been dealt into any of the relationships he has had in his life.
Infact? Yes they had 2 children, however she got pregnant the first time on purpose. Why? To hang onto him. She was 18 years old, so why would an 18 year old WANT to hang onto a man who didn't like her? Simply put? He was faithful for a total of 6 months when they were together. She spent the time before him dating all of his friends, then him. He wanted to get out, meet women and have fun, like most 22 year old men. She didn't like that. She didn't like that she couldn't control him, couldn't tell him what to do..she didn't like being the center of his universe.
They broke up numerous times, well actually once, then she would come back, they'd spend a night together, she'd think they were back together, when he did not. He knew it was over and continued to sleep around.
He was out one night, with his new girlfriend, and she showed up at his fathers house looking for him, went to bed because of how late it was, and he came home to his room to find her there. What was wrong? She was pregnant. It was his. He was dumbfounded and not happy. They continued to be broken up while she went through her pregnancy..he wasn't even there when she had their first child, he showed up afterwards. The child doesn't even have his last name. He was then pressured into trying to work it out. His mother and them thought having another baby and actually TRYING to have another baby would help things, it did not. A restraining order was put out to him from her. Why? She didn't like that he was not happy, picked fights (trust me when I say she likes to yell and have her way), police called, and yada yada yada.
His sister was then getting married, she wrangled herself to be a bridesmaid, yet because of the restraining order, his family pulled her out of the wedding party. Besides, he was seeing someone else.
Their second child was born, he was there that time, yet things were never to be worked out. He didn't have time nor the patience to put up with her drama, she denied him access to the kids because he couldn't pay child support -- he was back in school and the judge said he'd only have to pay what he could when he could and left it at that. There was no "court order" to pay a certain amount, he was in school and was not working, therefore had no money to give her. And shortly after that he had to drop out of school because his attendance was bad because of an accident and missed too much school..
Flashforward a few years, and he met me. She moved out of town, an hour or two drive away (her parents decided to move and rather than stay here where she would then have no friends AND no family around to run to, she moved next door to them in this other city). He was working finally in a stable job, started paying child support, based on the government guidelines on the Government of Canada Family Law site, based on earnings you make per year then per month. So he gave her what she was rightfully entitled to. He has not run around with other women. He has not gotten out of seeing his children, except when he hasn't had extra money nor the capability to drive down to get them, or if the weather was too bad to drive in.
Weather is too dangerous to drive? She gets mad and starts threatening to take his access to the kids away. He gives her her child support, yet will demand more money to pay for a sitter, or will blame ME for his choice to not risk his or their lives on the road.
This girl has never had a job. Her idea of a job is to babysit. Yet then she will turn around when she's annoyed and tell everyone that she "wants her break from the kids" because she "hates them being around so much", yet she babysits and is around children for 8 hours a day a few days a week. Why no job? She doesn't like someone telling her what to do.
How evil is she? She actually told their children (a few times now) that she hates them. Wishes she didnt have them. They considered moving out, yet realized without them there? They would not have any money coming in. Did I mention she has another child from another man as well?
Women like her make me mad. She decides she wants children, yet refuses to get a real job to support herself. She enrolls them in a hoity-toity school where theyre finally making great grades, demands money from my DH for things, when he gives her so much money as it is. they agreed a long time ago to not baptize the children, to let the kids decide what religion they will be, yet then gets them baptized without consulting him! Instead telling him shes enrolled them in a school, which he didnt agree to and wanted to see information about this school, then decides to get them baptized at the same time in order to get into this school.
How many choices has he been involved with when it comes to them? None. Has she given him opportunities to get involved in decisions? No.
We have decided over the last 6 months that our goal is to move to Vancouver Island in the coming year or two, before our own son is old enough to start Junior Kindergarten. Her reaction? How dare he move across country. Their children are old enough now to fly alone, to travel alone. They would then be stuck there for the entire school year and only able to fly out in the summers; taking up HER alone time away from them. Each of those kids have approximately 2-3 years left of having their child support go through their mother to be dispersed for them, what does she plan to do then?
Charge them 3/4 of what they will get from their father for rent. Avoid getting a real job. Avoid going to school to get a degree for anything. She has also threatened to go to court to get even more money out of him to make up for the years he wasn't able to pay anything, after this judge originally said he didn't have to pay anything until he was in a fulltime stable job, and as long as he followed the guidelines. That he didn't then owe her anything, because the judge never told them that he would ever "owe" her anything -- yes his lawyer made sure to ask the judge in court. The judge also stated that since they never lived together, nor were together, nor were married, there would be no money owing, such as any form of "spousal support".
Yet she still bitches about money, how I take/took his time for those children, how he avoids seeing the kids, that he gives our son more interest and time. Our son is 2 and a half by the way, is with both of us fulltime. She refuses to pick them out of their school and give up her custodial rights to have them here. It was HER choice to move further away from him WITH them.
God women are aggravating!