Sometimes I Just Wanna..
Been blogging for years. I do reviews, attend events, openings. I try to do things that most moms wouldn't have time to do -- without getting or needing a sitter.
Friday, May 2, 2014
"Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental illness that brings severe high and low moods and changes in sleep, energy, thinking, and behaviour." <-- well that's the definition found on www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/mental-health-bipolar-disorder .
Well today? It's low..it's sluggish..
I was categorized originally with PTSD after an extremely volatile, abusive relationship ended about 15 years ago. Prior to that, I had one relationship in high school that was both the best thing that happened to me and the worst. It ended with severe bullying in school; so I basically ended school traumatized, then started the next major relationship of my life almost 2 years later already shell-shocked, granted with several interesting stops along the way and stupid nights with girl friends. FUN nights too.
Since then I have had the normal "20-something" life of going out partying, in bars, at raves, and getting into things that the former "Highschool Jen" would only dream of. In a nutshell: severe. manic. episodes. drugs, lots of booze, lots of crying and lots of "I don't f'ing care!" Most of that changed about 11 years ago when I went out to talk some sense into a girl friend and met HIM.
Yes we had our highs and lows, as every relationship (he himself coming off of a traumatic situation, refusing relationships) but somehow I cracked through that shell. Three years in? Another HE arrived. Our son.
Being pregnant, I couldn't take my meds. There has been numerous research since then stating that in "severe" circumstances medication CAN be continued during pregnancy - with precaution. I wasn't able to take it. It was too much of a risk that I refused to take.
I was off my meds, he (since then he doesn't remember this at all) was very angry that I ended up pregnant, so the highs and lows became EXTREME highs and EXTREME lows for me. I was either out spending money I didn't have (prepping for a baby), or in the bedroom or bathroom always crying.
I racked up debt. Which (by the way) has since been paid off. Thank GOD!
I'm on new medication, been on new medication since I had an accident on the job in January 2013. I broke my arm so badly that I have had reconstructive surgery on it, and unable to return to where I worked prior (funny thing, I was so incredibly unhappy at this job that I had plans to quit about 2-3 weeks after that very day..then the accident happened.. they say things happen for a reason. NO KIDDING!).
The medication, if I take it too late in the evening will make me INCREDIBLY "sluggish" the following day ALL day. When I don't take it (or prior to being given the prescription for it) my days become "fast forward" where nothing is fast enough, but I don't dare tell him (he doesn't want to understand what's wrong with me, which causes issues).
It's been a hell of a ride, but at least I'm finally out of the place I hate, trying to find a career I enjoy, out of debt, and happy.
And that's where I've been these last few months. I thought I'd explain because I find WAY too many people claim to have a mental illness to get out of stupid stuff they've done. It seems like it's the "explanation du jour". You turn on Tori Spellings new "documentary" Tru Tori, and THAT'S the "explanation" that her husband Dean McDermott is using for his behaviour. Wrong. People using that term as a cop-out makes those TRULY suffering angry. I have it. Apparently it ran in the bloodline generations back. And I'm owning up to it, admitting it, dealing with it.
Surviving it.
No cop-outs.
Labels:
bipolar,
debt,
medication,
mental illness
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Light Bulb Baking: A History of the Easy-Bake Oven, By Todd Coopee --- REVIEW
Labels:
book,
Easy-Bake Oven,
Kenner,
Review,
Todd Coopee
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
I was looking at the blog post from last August about Weddings just now thinking how lucky I am.
That blog post was written 5 years ago, and my relationship has surmounted the 10 YEAR milestone (inching to 11).
I have this goof of a son who makes me laugh every day. We have watched the relationships of friends of ours meet new levels in life: divorce, marriage, remarriage, new children, suddenly single..
Granted I have been out of work for over a year now since a workplace accident last year. A job that I am no longer able to do that added a permanent "disability" to my life. I am not broken hearted though. I no longer work for someone that has made her life a miserable set of scruples.
So now the job search begins..something new is on the horizon.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Bayshore Relaunch!
Curious shoppers were probably wondering what was happening in the tented off area, where glimpses of pink and purple lights flashed and the music was spinning!
Inside was food, drinks, lots! of people who arrived through "invitation only" to preview the new look.
Mingling among the guests were: Max Keeping, Alex Munter, The Ottawa Citizens Julie Beun, Janet Wilson, Rogers Televisions' Lois Lee, Bayshores' Marketing Director Angie Russell, as well as many of the "bosses" of Bayshore Shopping Center.
The unveil date is October 17th, and it looks amazing.
New stores, new food court, tons more parking.
I'm one excited mom.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)